I want you to have both

I met fear in silence
mapping a pattern for the very first time
a trap, I realized
the backbone of leaving.
I stood my ground with as much grace as I could gather
and loosened my grip on dignity just to try and breathe again
the edge of losing it all
brought my walls to their knees.
I am at fault too, I realize
always secretly thriving on misery
so, hold on
I won’t let you burn the bridge to cross the river within
I want (need) us to have both
each other and ourselves.

Nov 6th, 2025 – Raianna Fantin

From the author: I wrote this during a moment when choices had to be made, even though the feelings behind them weren’t fully clear. For a while, I stayed in that in-between space, suspended between two possible paths.

Raianna Fantin is a Brazilian scientist fascinated by human emotions. Outside the laboratory, Raianna writes as a quiet practice to understand and process emotions. An avid reader and an experimental watercolor painter, she finds constant inspiration in literature and other forms of art. Her poems grow out of this space of curiosity and observation, and from a desire to understand herself (and others) a little better.