What I wished I said

You don’t know how much I fought the parts of you in me.
How much it takes to not be like you.
I still hear you screaming.
I still fear you.
I know I love a lot of people,
But I am not sure what form of love I have for you.
I forgive you for stealing my childhood but
not for ruining my youth.

 You always told me to remember where I came from.
To be proud of my history.
But I am not.
Not because of the lack of money or food.
Not because of the lack of warmth or roof.
But you shoved my “heritage” so violently down my throat,
that all I did is throw it up.

From the author: Many people, me included, have a complicated relationship with their family, roots, and where they come from. While I love my roots, there are moments where they hold me back and I sometimes find myself thinking about things I wish I had said.